I've decided.

I've decided.

Stop everyTHINK, calm down.

Start all over again, CHANGE.

There are few things that I've promised myself to do, both short and long term goal.

That's all.

*~Xeon~*

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?!?!

(when typing this title actually remind me of Lee Hom's song =_=)

Anyway, I just don't know what the .... happen to myself.

It's truth, the toughest enemy in the world is always yourself, myself.

Nowadays I'm getting lazy, and getting even lazy and lazy and lazy~

WHY?

and I should say that, I'm getting tired too dam freaking easy =_=~

When I'm still form 3, I can play until 3am and went to school at 7am and I still feel it's okay.

But now, I can't really done that anymore, I just felt too dam tired and feel like there's some class that I can skip then I skip it? WTF? What do I mean by the class that I can skip? I should've know that as a student I can never skip any class except there's something important happens, but why, WHY I'll still do it, aih......useless sheat~

Is it because of tired? or my determination or my willpower or my mindpower is getting weaker? What is it?

I just don't know what's wrong with myself...

"Myself, please save myself, I still have a lots of promise that I need to done."

"Make a change."

That's all.

*~Xeon~*

I don't know why~

My heart is just so painful nowadays,

What's the reason? I don't know.

Maybe I'll die a little bit earlier~

Maybe I'll end my life a little bit earlier~

Sadness, Hurt, Stressful, Pressure

Only myself will know it,

I know this is lame, don't look at this and close it if you don't wanna read.

People always said,

"Yea lar I know how you feel,

Chew~like this only mar, mine is even deadly, stressful or pressure."

but WHY,

Why not comfort FIRST? Rather than showing off how stressful or how pressure or how sad or how hurt you can be? and compare it to mine?

because we're human?

maybe.

I'm one of those people, who compare, before trying to comfort, I'm stupid, I want to make a change.

Hopefully I was able to change, before I'm dead.

I don't have an exact title to start with, I don't have an exact point to state in this post, just random thought.

That's all.

*~Xeon~*

Appreciation.

Finally, I'm here to update my blog.

Appreciation?

I don't know what's the right definition of it or how to appreciate. So I'm going to talk about that here, and give me comments, thanks.


Most of the time, human always don't appreciate. Like me, I don't appreciate many many things, I'm sorry to tell. Example, many years ago my primary school friend gave me some present, today, I don't know where I hide it =_=~or maybe threw away already~I'm really sorry =_=~Besides that, my parent gave me many many things, like clothing, food, toys, watches, and many more. Seriously I didn't really appreciate many of those things, but I appreciate food, truthfully.

Anyway, talk about appreciation. First, I felt that I shouldn't take things for granted. Many many years ago, when I'm still a child, I always don't appreciate many toys because I can always get it when I ask my parent to buy it for me. But there's something, when you lost it, you'll hardly or never get it back. When I'm still a child, I appreciate the toys I like the most, when I lost it, and I can't get it at anywhere again, I cry out loud. Only 1 out of 10 toys I appreciate. What about another 9? Lost ma lost lar~


That's what I'm thinking last time, and what happen is, I appreciate the Toy A very much, and I don't bother about Toy BCDEFGHIJ~but after 1 weeks, my friend told me that Toy A can combine with Toy BCDEFGHIJ to become a super robot, and when I wanna find those toys, I don't know where I put/throw it already. What I felt is, I should always appreciate everything that I having, I won't know when those thing will become useful to me, or I'll regret for the rest of my life when I lost it.

How I appreciate ANYthings? or even friendship? sometimes go and check it out, look at it, play with it, and after a while just leave it? then when you're free then come check it out again? To some THINGS, non-living things I mean, I guess that's the way we appreciate it? What about relationship?

Friendship, I appreciate my friend, not just only always "TAKE" them out and "LOOK" or "CHECK" them out, but, with "CARING, LOVING, HELPING, SHARING"? or more? You know what I mean by friend that look or check them out only? "Hi-bye" friend I guess.

We're humans, for me, I always need a lots of caring from anyone, especially the one. Loving, for guys as long as don't be gay to me it's okay. Helping them. Sharing? Share about information, problems, happiness, and everything.(I'm lazy to list out)

What happen when we don't care, don't love, don't help, don't share? When you don't care, you won't find your friend, when you don't love, you won't feel anything, when you don't help while you can, I don't know what should i say to this FRIEND, when you don't share, what are you going to talk with others? For me, no matter how smart I can be(I'm stupid right now.), I can't read mind, I always ask my friends many things before I action. I can't read mind, I can't know what my friends thinking when I don't ask anything or they don't answer me, I can only guess. Most of the guessing can leads to wrong answer and serious aftereffect or misunderstanding.

Above, it's for friendship, for lovers, double of everything above stated or even more. I appreciate my lovers by 2X or even more CARING LOVING HELPING SHARING and sacrifice. Maybe I can't really makes my lover felt how I appreciate her, so much...Everythings that gave by the one, is those things I appreciate the most in my life, my world. I didn't even appreciate myself that much. Well, I ain't perfect, I can said I do all these things, but I do really make mistakes. I'm sorry for every mistakes that I've done.

ANYWAY, that's all just my point of view of appreciation. I might missed out some points or many points, please tell me more so that I can improve myself.

Comments please~thanks~

THAT'S ALL.

*~Xeon~*

I Love You.

One promise.


Two people.


Three words.

Okay~this blog post is about~craps, maybe.

I'm wondering that~

When you choosing your partner~or getting one, is that you'll find one that match your characteristic very much? or you'll not care about that?

What I mean is like, you'll find a partner that will never against go your will and almost everything stay by your side, or the opposite? or just don't care about it?

Well I wrote don't care about it means, many peoples choose their partner by feelings, Love, I guess~

Just a question bah~it's not about my problem~lolz~tell me your thought~comments~



I shouldn't, I really shouldn't act like that again~aih.

That's all~!!

*~Xeon~*

Side Mirror~lolz~

Random snap~


The view from side mirror~

me myself~SS LOL~

with blue sky reflection on da window~

traffic jammed~

trees~


and at last~

Watch your BACK.



That's FGY~!! lolz~


well it's all about side mirror photo in this post~took this few photo when my friend driving my car~except the last 1~lolz~


Enjoy "The day that the beauty of nature stood still."~wakaka~i mean from those mirror relflection? LOL~


lame~That's all~!!


*~Xeon~*

Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback.

I know many peoples will said that~

"aiya~lyric i go website also can check lar~"

but there's how many peoples will really read the lyric, understand it and feel it?

anyway I felt this song is not bad~so i post up the lyrics here bah~

This time,

I wonder what it feels like

To find the one in this life,

the one we all dream of

But dreams just aren't enough

So I'll be waiting for the real thing,

I'll know it by the feeling

The moment when we're meeting,

will play out like a scene

Straight off the silver screen

So I'll be holding my own breath,

right up 'til the end

Until that moment when,

I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me like that

Cause nobody wants to do it on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight,

out on the street,

out in the moonlight

And dammit this feels too right,

it's just like deja vu

Me standing here with you

So I'll be holding my own breath,

could this be the end

Is it that moment when,

I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me like that

Cause nobody wants to do it on their own

And everyone wants to know they're not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up,

looking for a diamond in the rough

You never know,

when it shows up, make sure you're holding on

Cause it could be the one,

the one you're waiting on

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

And everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands

There's gotta be somebody for me,

ohhh~

Nobody wants to do it on their own

And everyone wants to know their not alone

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere

There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

"Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares

Someone to love with my life in their hands."

"I found the one that I'll spend forever with."

That's all~

Note: i hate the photo loading time so that's why i didn't really update my blog recently lolz~anyway i'll try to update ASAP~

*~Xeon~*